We are at 38 weeks, and it's my first official day of maternity leave. Is it totally wrong that I am sort of bored? I am assuming I am just detoxing from working months without any proper vacation since December 15, 2008. I even had a very full day: group therapy, doctor's appointment, lunch at a new Cuban place by our house, naps and an hour walk. How am I bored?
I think I am bored because I don't know what I *should* be doing. I am overwhelmed by both freedom and restriction. It takes me a while to transition to new phases of my life and this is obviously the first step in one of the largest I will ever face. Transitioning from freewheelin' and newly married lawyer to mother is right up there with moving from the hot, flat confines of Texas to the harsh streets of Hyde Park, which I pulled off in Fall 1997 when I started graduate school at the University of Chicago. This whole having a baby thing is going to have to be really, profoundly life-altering to usurp the shock of moving from Texas A&M University in College Station, Texas to the southside of Chicago to study Humanities with an emphasis is feminist literature. And I mean it's going to take more than dirty diapers and a nipple infection because that was a seriously life-defining move.
And, speaking of our Beloved first born daughter, we got a little udpate on her progress today at the doctor's office. It was our first visit with the only male doctor in the rotation at my ob/gyn practice. Dr. G* was a little glib for my taste. During the chit chat that led up to my internal exam, he asked me where I live in the city, and I told him the neighborhood where I live, which has a reputation of being somewhat hip. We actually live on the fringiest fringe of that neighborhood, but I was a little nervous about where he was about to insert his gloved hand so I kept it brief. When I answered he said, "oh, so you are hip, right?" Something just didn't quite rub me the right way in his assumptions about who I am and where I live. I let it go and then he made a lawyer joke. I can't wait to see if he is the doctor on call when we deliver. With my luck, he'll be at the other end of my delicate parts waiting to make more assumptions about me and my family.
He did indeed use his gloved hand to determine that I am not dilated at all, but my cervix is 50% effaced, which happened in the past week. "For a first-time mom that's good work for one week."
*Blush*
The most unsettling part about this visit was that Jeff and I were coming from different places, planning on meeting at the doctor. Unfortunately, right after I turned in my weekly urine sample, the nurse took me straight to a room and told me to take off my pants to get ready for the internal exam. I asked her to send Jeff in, who I hadn't seen in the office yet. We aren't sure exactly what happened, but we assume the nurse forgot to fetch Jeff so I got to have my first internal from a male doctor when Jeff was three rooms away wondering where the hell I was. Jeff was so upset he missed the show, but he recovered pretty quickly and it's a good thing, because he asked the doctor some questions that had totally slipped my mind.
Such as, can we go to Milwaukee in the next few days to see some friends for the day?
One of my friends just had a little girl in Milwaukee, which is only about 2 hours away from Chicago. My bright idea was to take a road trip to see Kelly's new baby girl, Annabelle. To be honest, I wasn't even going to run it by the doctor. Thank goodness Jeff asked because the doctor's pithy comment was: "I don't love it."
Basically, he said he would hate for Jeff to have to deliver the baby at some McDonald's oasis if I went into labor in Milwaukee and tried to make it back to our hospital in Chicago. Hard to argue with that. He also said that even if I made it it would be scary and possibly more painful than he would like to see me have to endure.
Thanks, Doctor, I forgive your jackass comment about me being hip.
Though, come to think of it, my new vericose veins and other special features-- some of which requires Preparation H-- are pretty damn hip. Who can blame him for thinking that?
In the meantime, I have downloaded Steve Martin's bluegrass album. Yes, that's right, the star of the iconic film, The Jerk, plays the five-string banjo and put out a blue grass album. I am not sure exactly what so captivates me about this-- that is, besides the fact that I really love banjo music and love surprises and the fact that Steve Martin has a blue grass album is a big shock-- but I am plotting to see if Jeff will let me name the baby Banjo. Isn't that cute? If I was a famous celebrity that had to come up with an obscure name for my offspring, I would call her Banjo Smile. But, since I am not famous and not a celebrity, that name most likely won't work so I will keep mulling it over, steering away from musical instruments and third world countries.
Do I need to say that it freaks me out that we are in July? It freaks me out that THIS MONTH I will have a baby. Right as we speak Jeff is putting up the curtains, which makes the final touch for our nursery. He's sweating like a swine and swearing like a corsair, which I can barely hear above the blue grass music. I think there is an issue with a metal pillar in the wall and some kind of leveling problem. I am doing Jeff a big favor and staying out of it. The last thing he needs is for me to waddle in, clumsy as I have a right to be at 38 weeks pregnant, and start "helping" him. I am opting to make dinner, which may be a challenge because I said I would make dinner from whatever is in our house when I refused to go to the market after running errands. These days once I get tired it's impossible to face one more errand. The centrifugal force drawing me back to my couch is so strong that if I have to go through our neighbor's trash to find something to eat, I will do it. I myself am still craving Fritos topped with chili and sour cream, but the Father of my child deserves more than the standard fare served to Texas middle school children in the 1970s. I am wondering if there are any savory recipes featuring the animal cracker, another food I am craving night and day
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