I Am Ready

Here's the deal:

I am ready. For all of it. Labor. Contractions. Pain. Decisions about the epidural. Cranking my iPod mix. Laughing with Jeff and the support team.

HAVING A BABY.

I am ready. I am done waddling around and worrying about kick counts. I am ready to let go and share Peppermint with the world. I am ready to go to the park and figure out breast feeding and ask for astronomical amounts of help and stroll in the summer afternoons with my baby and my husband. I trust the world with my baby. I am thrilled we had this almost 40 weeks together and sooner or later we both have to let go and move to the next phase of our relationship.

I did a little research today about why labor starts. It turns out the baby's brain sends out signals that triggers hormones in her mama and then the body does what it's supposed to do to help the baby transition from the womb to the world. I want her to know I am ready. As ready as I can be. If she's holding on for my sake, she can let go. I am sending her a message that I and her daddy love her very much and we will continue to do everything we can to make her world a place where she can thrive and learn and explore and be age appropriate for as long as she is on my watch. She may be loving the watery world in my womb, but that nursery bedding is seriously cute and I can't imagine that my uterine lining is as lovely to behold as toile.

So bring on the play groups, the nipple cream, the round-the-clock nursings. Bring on the hormones, the episotomy, the new incarnations of old fears, the utter changes that are coming when she comes.

Here's my love letter to Pepps:

Dear Peppermint,

Let's take our relationship to the next level. I think we are ready. We've been together almost 40 weeks. I want you to meet my family. I don't think this is rushing things.

I am ready.

Love,
Mama