Well, just like with the wedding dress that I eventually fell IN LOVE with, I am having some indecision around the baby bedding. We registered for the bedding below, but now I am thinking it's too garish. Or too something. I am not sure what, but I am just not quite feeling it for the Tiki Floral from Land of Nod.I just found the above bedding at Babies 'R Us, and I sort of love it for our pale yellow nursery. It's less busy and overall just softer and more calming to me. And believe me, with this busy brain as her mother, this little lady is going to need all the calm she can get. Starting with those peaceful little fireflies.
Now, is this post proof that I have a little too much time on my hands if I am perseverating about this? Yes. Am I aware that baby bumpers are not supposed to be used once you have an actual baby sleeping in the crib? Yes. But, let's not kid ourselves. Baby bedding is not really ever for a baby. It's for mommy, who wants to create a little sanctuary for her baby complete with soothing colors and images that will hopefully reduce nightmares, colic, future eating disorders, insomnia, and teen-aged rebellion, while simultaneously encouraging literacy, sleep, bonding with mom and dad, and an innate sense of security and self-esteem. That's a lot of work for a little bit of bedding.
I don't actually know if the baby will ever sleep in a crib. Maybe we'll be co-sleepers. I haven't ruled it out, but I am pretty sure having a little baby in the big people bed will alter the "honeymoon" period that we newlyweds are in. For the record, I am keeping an open mind about all of this. And, I mean, all of it: Natural childbirth? I am considering it. It may be purely theoretical since I have never ever been to a hospital as a patient for more than 4 hours. Come to think of it, my only hospital stint was in George Washington University Hospital in D.C. in 1998, when I went to the emergency room for really bad menstrual cramps. Probably does not bode well for my natural childbirth plan that I admitted myself for cramps, but my mind is still open for the possibility of eschewing an epidural and pitocin and all the other "comforts" of labor.
Co-Sleeping? Maybe. Making my own baby food when the time comes? Sure. Breastfeeding? Absolutely. Cloth diapers? I'll try anything, as long as Jeff will do the work. My point is that I am enjoying my non-dogmatic time as an expecting mother, when I can try on all sorts of parenting hats. I totally picture myself being a whip out the breast mom-- even when in public where other people are trying to eat-- in part because I like the idea of someone trying to stop me and getting use my skills at detachment or telling the "uncomfortable" co-diner to bend over and kiss his own Puritianical ass. I also like the idea of being more mobile: When I am out and about, if little Peppermint needs a snack, then let's take care of business.
It's actually laughable that I think I will suddenly have the free spirit of a native European just because there will be milk in them there hills. I have spent a considerable amount of time hiding my breasts from ages 23-35, so exactly how this transformation will take place is beyond my intellectual or intuitive grasp right now.
The point is, today, I can envision being a thousand different versions of "MOTHER." By the time the child arrives, which will necessarily make this all more realistic, I will settle into the actual mother that I will be. Maybe a year from now we'll be plopped in front of daytime T.V. munching on McDonald's chicken nuggets and ignoring the needs of our child for the enduring pleasures of the Internet or Facebook. Perhaps, we won't even have a T.V., but we'll be working in an organic garden to gather fresh tomatoes and milk a free range cow. Of course, it will be somewhere in between, which is why I have to explore the extremes today, and even then, only in my head.
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