PreNatal Challenges

Little did I know what a great thing it would be to have a husband who opted to take time off of work before our baby is born. This is especially great because it's a freaking full time job to figure out all these baby products. The strollers alone are enough to keep someone occupied for two 80-hour weeks. We did a little research, we asked some friends about their preferences, and then we struck out to Babies R Us to find the perfect stroller for us. But, when we got to Babies R Us, there were so many choices, not a salesperson in sight, just row after row of stroller and travel systems and car seats. When we were in New York, I saw that most of the parents had their little ones in MacLaren strollers. So, I wanted to try those first. Problem with those were that we could not figure out how to collapse them. Here's the thing, if my husband, who can build walk-in closets after watching a few YouTube videos, can't figure out a stroller, there is no way on the planet that I am doing to know how to do it. So, sorry MacLaren, you may have won the hearts of the Big Apple parents, but we gotta know how to get the damn thing in the car. (The stroller, not the baby.)

We also thought we'd get a Graco travel system. This just means you get a stroller and a car seat that all snaps together. I think Jeff said it best when he described them as big plastic monstrosities. They are huge and heavy and garish. And, while we could collapse them, even in the collapsed state, they were still too bulky. I am trying to picture myself in a parking lot somewhere trying to deal with the baby, the stroller, the car seat and an super stylish yet urban diaper bag. A stroller that weighs in over 35 lbs just isn't a good candidate. Now if the diaper bag was really cute and weighed 35lbs, let's be clear that I would consider it, but not the stroller. Too unweildy and unrealistic as a device you can carry on your shoulder. (See above.)

And then there were the status symbol strollers. Excuse me, but there are strollers that cost $650.00. That's more than Lance Armstrong's first Tour De France bike. What the hell happens in that stroller that makes it worth $650.00? This is the Bugaboo, which I was scared to touch, much less to try to break down so I could see how compact it is. And the Bob. I have heard that it's the greatest stroller ever, but the website seems to bill it as a jogging stroller (not something I intend to do often, or so often I want to pay $399.00 for it), and I just don't get it. Babies R Us didn't have any Bob's, which is probably good because I would probable just make fun of it and offend my friends who think it's the greatest thing since spray cheese.

In the end, we went with the recommendation of a colleague whose city life mirrors our own. I felt heartened that she and her husband couldn't figure out how to work the MacLaren strollers either. Our new City Mini stroller is en route to us as we speak-- we got it in red for the Peppermint, and also as a reaction against all those crazy garish Graco strollers with purple and pink bears all over them.

And, not 24 hours after our stroller expedition, Jeff and I went to birth classes at the hospital where we will deliver Miss Pepps. This was the 8-hour class. I don't know exactly what happened there, but when we got in the car to go home, I felt like someone had slipped some extra-potent ruffies into my drink. I went straight home and fell asleep on the couch. I believe that was a reaction to being totally and completely overwhelmed. I should have known I was in trouble when I wanted to faint at the sight of the epidural video. Listen, if you are nauseated and light-headed from a video where all that is shown is a needle going into a woman's back, then just buckle up for the C-section video where a live, messy, screaming baby is yanked out of a woman's stomach. Is it any wonder I have had birth dreams for the past three nights and then last night my mind said, enough of this, no more sleeping? Thus, I have been awake since 2:00 a.m. As fun as pacing the halls and listening to my husband snore peacefully dreaming of golf, gourmet food and time off of work, may seem, somewhere inside of me I decided it was better than dreams of giving birth to a five-year-old little girl with a pagegirl haircut and 31 toes. Been there; dreamed that.

We're 32 weeks and the anxiety is building. I may find that sleeping is a double-edged sword since there are dreams working out my deepest fears waiting to play out on the screen of my subconscious.

And, when I am not sleeping, the 120 to 150 ounces of water I am drinking every day catches up with me around 3:00 a.m. and 4:00 a.m and 5:00 a.m. I'll be ready for those late night feedings because mama's been up peeing at those hours for months.