Just a Day at the Beach

This Memorial Day was very low key for us. I spiced up our Friday night and Saturday morning by pulling the pregnancy card-- every non-pregnant spouse's nightmare. If you are the non-pregnant spouse, good luck trying to trump the pregnancy card.

Here's how it went down. I had already decided not to go to Florida for a wedding that Jeff and I were invited to, even though it was at the Ritz Carlton and I really wanted to be there. I opted not to go because travel at 32 weeks pregnant is difficult and Florida is hot and I am ornery. Jeff was fully supportive of me taking care of myself, and conversely, I was supportive of him going to celebrate his friend's marriage. However, I had a little Supportive Spouse relapse on Saturday morning as I was driving Jeff to the airport. It went something like this:

Me: You know, you get to fly off to Florida without a care in the world while I have to stay home, watch what I eat (no blue cheese, no raw eggs, no artificial sweeteners-- POOR ME), worry about the baby's kick counts, shovel 150 ounces of water down my throat, worry about someone breaking into the house and trying to kill me. You know, I am already a parent to our child and for you it's all still theoretical. So, while I am laying in bed busy NOT doing an annual bike ride on Lake Shore Drive, you will be having your third meal at the Ritz Carlton in Palm Beach. Really fair.

Jeff: <<<<>>>>>>

Luckily, I calmed down before he got out of the car and we had a proper goodbye. It's the first time I really recall feeling that the distribution of work (and worry) was disproportionate between me and Jeff. Now that my hips ache all the time as they split apart to make way for a baby to come through the natural chute and my ankles are seriously swollen and it's hard to get out of chairs, much less bed, it does seem a tiny bit unfair. Then again, when I lay in bed and feel Peppermint kicking for over an hour, I think that even if the pain or inconvenience was tripled, I would STILL never trade places with my non-pregnant spouse. Never. But, when I get tired and cranky I don't mind playing my pregnancy card just see how far it will get me. It doesn't seem to deter me that it doesn't actually get me where I want to go-- which is to greater peace of mind and connection with my husband, myself and my life. Oh, well, no one says you have to be perfect to be a parent.

We are almost at June, which is the month adjacent to JULY. I would be lying through my teeth if I didn't note here and now that I am really excited and really curious about what is about to happen in my life with this baby. I had another sublime dream last night that my daughter arrived 6 hours after my water broke, and I only had to push three times. I kept asking Jeff to have the nurses bring me my baby, and when I was laying in bed with her, it was the most perfect and happy connection I have ever dreamed about. The nurses put some patch on her eyes before giving her to me and I kept telling her that I loved her and that she was "my favorite baby." Just as my hips are spreading so is my capacity to connect to the joy of childbirth. With 7 weeks until the due date, we are undoubtedly in the home stretch now.

And as you can see from my blossoming physique, we are putting the STRETCH in home stretch.

And, here's my latest pet peeve related to pregnancy. I always hear the following statement as an affirmation of pregnant women: "Wow, you couldn't even tell from behind that she was pregnant." It really annoys me to hear that because that compliment is really a veiled way of saying, "Wow, she was decent enough to only gain weight in her stomach and stayed skinny enough that I would only have to see she was pregnant if I was seeing her profile or head on." What's so EFFING great about looking pregnant from only 2 directions? Moreover, what's so wrong with looking pregnant from every which-a-way? Why are the highest compliments for women the ones that praise women for staying small? What has staying small done for women these days? Excuse me, I am giving human life and producing a whole other person in my very body, a person who will have a social security card in about 2 months-- how about that as the highest affirmation ever? How about this one: "She's pregnant with every fiber of her being and she looks beautiful carrying human life?" Huh? How about that one?

Do you think that Sonia Sotomayor wants to be complimented by being told how small she is? The last thing I want the future Justice Sotomayor to be is small! I want her to be big and flap her wings and fry her fish and write brilliant opinions that honor the rule of law and challenge the conservative agenda that threatens our freedom and safety. And that what I want for myself and for the other future Supreme Court Justice, Peppermint Ellis!