What's Black, White and Red All Over?

As you can tell, Jeff is getting really good at photography -- learning how to use his new camera and manipulate color, lighting and shadows. Now that I am officially sporting about 38 extra pounds (and counting, thank you very much!), it's hard for me to look at images of myself. Yes, I know, it's a baby and I am likely to not stay at this weight, but what I can say, it's difficult for a lot of reasons. So, when Jeff points the camera at me at my dirty hair and my unweildy breasts and this body that I truly do not recognize, it's hard for me (at times) not to rip it out of his hands and throw it down the stairs.

And, then sometimes I surrender. It's not all about me, after all. These are also pictures of Peppermint and when I can get out of my own way, I can see what treasures they are. We were getting especially creative yesterday with our bag of Starlight mints-- also known as Peppermints-- and we've invested in a black velvet drape to have the professional effect. I hate to admit it, but I really love this picture. When Jeff reads this he's going to have extra ammunition next time he wants to do an impromtu photo shoot at 9 p.m. after I have had two excursions on the CTA and waddled around town. The secret yesterday was that he got me before the sun went down. That's going to be key as we head on into our final 5 weeks of pregnancy.

And, speaking of these last 5 weeks, I have no idea what to expect. Yesterday, in my beloved prenatal yoga class, there were 5 women there who were at 39.5 or 40+ weeks. Each of them seemed totally calm and relaxed. I wondered how they could just sit there and do sun salutations while their cervixes were like ticking bombs about to thin and shoot out their offspring. It was good for me to see that level of surrender and peace. I hope to have it when it's my turn to be a senior mommy. I don't have that now, but there is nothing to say I won't have it then, right?

I can tell I am anxious because I have lots of scary dreams about people drowning almost every night. I miss those days of the second trimester when I dreamed about hanging out with my newborn daughter and cooing to her in a very comfortable hospital bed. I am told that at some point I am going to be ready to let go of being pregnant and the process of birth will begin. I would like to say back that I am sure the process of birth will begin whether I am ready or not!

This weekend is my baby shower. I keep thinking to myself, "I am pretty sure we just had a wedding shower," which we did as recently as September. But, showers get bunched up when you are lucky enough to get pregnant 7 weeks before your wedding. I have always been a lucky girl! I have searched high and low for the perfect summer shower dress. In the maternity world, "high and low" isn't hard. And if someone forced me to say what the hardest luxury I had to give up during pregnancy was, I would say something about shopping. It's so hard to find good maternity clothes. Sure, there are high end boutiques, but just like their non-maternity sisters, they are designed for women whose breasts are smaller than at 38 E. By the time I get those little $80.00 t-shirts to fit in the breasts (and I am not saying I would buy them anyway, Jeff), the rest of it looks like a pool tarp surrounding my body. So, I finally settled on a non-maternity cotton dress and employed the oft-chanted mantra: "Christie, this is not about you and it's not about the clothes." I don't know where I got the idea that having the perfect outfit is the sine qua non of having a good experience at a Life Event. The life event should probably be about life and not about the clothes. I guess you can take the girl out of the South, but you can't take the South out of the girl.