Tummy Time: 18 Weeks

I have been very conscious of letting Jeff in on the pregnancy process. The other day I asked him if he felt left out so far since Pepps and I have a special bond that he can't physically partake in. Yet. He said he felt like he was on the roller coaster with me. I took that as an affirmation that all of the hormonal ups and downs -- those darling rage attacks and fits of insanity-- were really about bonding with Jeff and keeping him "under the tent" as they say. GO me. I knew my psychosis was going to come to a good end. I took a picture of his stomach at 18 weeks so he will have the experience of us celebrating his stomach as well.

And that wee obsession with my growing breasts and stomach has not abated one bit. I constantly look down amazed to see what I see. Yesterday, I had to go to court, and I put on a jacket that has always been super roomy. Yesterday, I could only button the top button. My bra size is currently an "E"-- where the funk do you go from there? I am guessing "F" but I have literally never heard anyone say they are a 36 F. Are you kidding me? Where do they hide these bras? I bet they need bigger racks. I am consoled by remembering how ample Christina Aguilera's breasts were when she was pregnant with her first child. I am taking my cue from her and getting some bright red lipstick and platnium blonde hair, which will distract me from any discomfort about my chest size.

Now my stomach is a whole other story. Stomach. Belly. Womb. Tummy. Whatever. It gets bigger by the end of the day. As you can see below, this is not the body dysmorphia talking. This is pregnancy and that's a baby that is allegedly the size of a bell pepper this week. That bell pepper is living large in its placentaed home. I feel Peppermint a few times a day. The only consistent time is around noon each day. I think Peppermint may take after mom, which is to say that when it's time to eat, it's time to eat. I keep asking Jeff when I am going to look pregnant and not just "midwestern" and I think he should just refer me to this picture next time I go down that road with him. I think I look pretty freaking pregnant. The only time I have seen my stomach bigger is Thanksgiving 1990 when I binged on Teddie Graham's, which is not an altogether pleasant memory. These days, bigger is better all around.